Funny Quotes

• A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx
• A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck 
• A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw
• A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. - Bob Hope
• A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. - Kevin Nealon
• A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. - Yogi Berra
• A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." - Claude Pepper
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
• A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. - Jerry Seinfeld
• A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby
• All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover
• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. - Casey Stengel
• Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby
• Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. -  Hedy Lamarr
• Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx
• As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett
• As I get older, I just prefer to knit. - Tracey Ullman
• Be obscure clearly. - E. B. White
• Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. - P. J. O'Rourke
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

Romantic Love Quotes

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart.
~ by Josiah G. Holland ~

What we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.
~ by Charles Stanley ( A Man's Touch) ~

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
~ by Unknown ~

It is the things in common
that make relationships enjoyable,
but it is the little differences
that make them interesting.
~ by Todd Ruthman ~

Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
~ by Frederick Saunders ~

The heart is the place where we live our passions. It is frail and easily broken, but wonderfully resilient. There is no point in trying to deceive the heart. It depends upon our honesty for its survival.
~ by Leo Buscaglia (Born For Love) ~
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
~ by George Sand ~

Love is an act of endless forgiveness
A tender look which becomes a habit.
~ by Peter Ustinov ~

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart.
~ by Josiah G. Holland ~

What we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.
~ by Charles Stanley ( A Man's Touch) ~

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.
~ by Unknown ~

It is the things in common
that make relationships enjoyable,
but it is the little differences
that make them interesting.
~ by Todd Ruthman ~

Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

My heart to you is given:
Oh, do give yours to me;
We'll lock them up together,
And throw away the key.
~ by Frederick Saunders ~

The heart is the place where we live our passions. It is frail and easily broken, but wonderfully resilient. There is no point in trying to deceive the heart. It depends upon our honesty for its survival.
~ by Leo Buscaglia (Born For Love) ~

There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
~ by George Sand ~

Love is an act of endless forgiveness
A tender look which becomes a habit.
~ by Peter Ustinov ~